When I graduated from college, I thought that I had a pretty firm grasp on what it would take to survive in the real world.  I had a solid foundation in the field of computer science and I was determined to immerse myself in my profession.  I kept up with the latest and greatest design patterns, development tools, frameworks, and programming languages.  I read books and blogs, listened to podcasts, went to conventions, and dabbled with open source projects as well as my own personal projects.  I had it all figured out…or so I thought.

Unfortunately, in my constant struggle to stay afloat in the sea of programming knowledge, I had neglected pretty much every other aspect of my life.  I could develop code for the core system of a financial institution, but I couldn't tell the difference between a W-4 and a 401(k).  I could describe heaps and stacks and the inner workings of a computer, but I couldn't tell you how to change the oil in my car.  I could combine open source, proprietary, and in-house libraries into an application, but I couldn't mix together anything more than hot water and ramen in the kitchen.  In the workplace, I felt at home.  But at home, I felt lost.

It wasn't until I met my future wife that I realized how many life skills I lacked (tip: knowing how to implement a black-red tree in pseudocode doesn't come in too handy when you're on a date.  Knowing how to cook a delicious meal on the fly does).  Lucky for me, she fell for me anyways, and as it became clear that we were going to be married I was forced to put aside my lust for all things programming and actually learn how to become a well-rounded, competant adult. 

The process was slow, arduous, and sometimes frustrating (mostly because I felt as if I had been inadequately prepared for life by both my parents and the educational system).  By no means do I consider myself a finished product (Beta at best…nowhere near a Release Candidate).  However, I think I have grown substantially since my lowest point (I once ate grapes covered with peanut butter for dinner because that was all that was left in my fridge).  The following is a short list of what I have learned how to do, how I learned them, and why I wish I had learned them sooner:

How to handle my finances

The majority of programmers fall into the group of middle-class
earners.  We earn enough so that we can invest for the future, but not
enough that we can ignore it and still come out ok. It's criminal how little our educational system teaches us about personal finances considering it is quite possibly the most important skill to have outside of our occupational trade (you can't invest if you don't earn money).  The numerous reports about our nation's negative savings rate as well as the current credit crisis shows that many of us do not grasp basic financial principals such as debt management and compound interest. 

The sad thing about this is that it's really not that hard.  When I first entered the workforce I came in with absolutely zero financial knowledge.  I had no idea what a credit report was.  I picked my 401(k) funds and contribution percentages out of a hat.  Even so, it only took a few months of casual reading to become proficient enough that family members come to me for financial advice.  I read a couple books, kept a few blogs in my RSS feeds, and lurked a few internet forums.  The information is out there and the subject matter is surprisingly simple once you learn to filter out the noise (e.g. Jim Cramer, Robert Kiyosaki).  Here are a few resources that helped me learn the basics of personal finance and investing:

• Books
  • The Boglehead's Guide to Investing
    • Written by investors, for investors.  It's a very easy read and is a great starter book and covers everything from investing to insurance to estate planning.
  • The Four Pillars of Investing
    • Along the same lines as the Boglehead's Guide to Investing.  Another great starter book for learning the basics of investing.
• Websites
  • The Boglehead's Forum
    • An internet forum where the authors of the Boglehead's Guide to Investing actually post.  I frequent this board a lot and it is an excellent place to get sound advice regarding anything financial.
  • Get Rich Slowly
    • A blog written by a normal guy who was drowning in debt a few years ago but has managed to slowly get himself out of debt by saving more and spending less.  His blog postings are informative and useful for everyday people who are looking for pointers in their financial lives that they can actually apply.

How to cook

Programmers tend to have a reputation for being Mac'N'Cheese eating,
Cheeto gorging, Mountain Dew guzzling machines.  I'm not sure when they started to phase out Home Ec from schools, but
it certainly wasn't an option for me when I was in school.  Preparing, serving, and eating a delicious home-cooked meal is one of the most rewarding and joyful pleasures in life.  You are doing yourself a disservice if you cannot make at least one dish well enough to serve to company. 

Cooking your own meals also saves you a fortune.  For me, eating out for lunch and dinner every day adds about $10/day over what I would have spent had I packed my own lunch and cooked my own dinner (not to mention gas money for driving to restaurants and tips).  That's an extra $200/month I was paying before I learned how to make my own meals!  Painful.

As for cooking resources, unfortunately a lot of cooking knowledge comes from trial and error as well as osmosis from watching other people cook.  If you don't know anyone who can help you, The Food Network has a variety of programs that can provide lots of knowledge as well as inspiration.  If you're looking for recipies, check out Epicurious.

How to interact with people

I touched upon this briefly in my surprisingly popular post on metrosexual developers.  Like many programmers, I was not a very good "people person".  Some people swear by Toastmasters as a way to build their public speaking skills.  I can't say that any of those forced speaking clubs did anything for me.  What did help my people skills was improving my appearance.  With that came confidence and confidence is what people skills is all about.  Your mileage may vary.  Just know that e-mail, text messages, and poking people on Facebook can only get you so far in life.

How to take care of myself

There's really not much I can say about this that hasn't been said a countless number of times.  It's very simple.  Exercise and eat in moderation.  Get checked up routinely by your doctor, optomotrist, and dentist.  There is no excuse for ignoring any of these.  I regret that my health was something I took for granted when I was younger.  Luckily for me, I wisened up when I was still young.  All it took was the realization that somebody else would be depending on my good health in the future.

How to take care of my stuff

Aside from my computer, I really had no idea how to maintain the rest of my property.  My car went without an oil change and car wash for years.  My clothes were always wrinkled because I didn't know how to wash and iron them properly.  I couldn't fix a thing around the house.  Ignoring the fact that knowing how to take care of your property will save you tons money, it's nice to feel self sufficient.  When you can't take care of your stuff, you are completely at the will of those who can.  Anyone who has had to go without hot water while waiting for the plumber or take a cab to work because their car wouldn't start up in the morning knows that helplessness is a terrible feeling.  WikiHow and eHow are great sites that can help you learn the skills necessary to take care of your property.

How to have fun

I guarantee my last words on this planet will not be "I wish I could have written more code".  And yet for a good period of my life my actions indicated otherwise.  I would spend my working hours programming, then come home to read about programming and do more programming on the side for kicks. Now, looking back, I can't think of a single memorable moment for that time period.  It's all a blur to me.  There aren't any pictures or memories to enjoy.  I will probably regret this until the day I die. 

Do not miss out on your life because you were too busy developing.  Life is a journey that is meant to be enjoyed.  Alan Watts put it better than I could ever hope to: